There have been some challenging moments emotionally over the last few months as I contine to process having a child that is not genetically half mine and half my husbands. I hate to admit it and wish I didn't have those thoughts but sometimes I still feel sad that 'normal' IVF didn't work and I won't know the feeling of looking into eyes that resemble my own.. I don't know if that sounds narcisstic but I do have pangs of grief that I have to work through and that sometimes bring about negative responses that I wish I didn't display. I think it's a work in process and I know once the baby is here I will love it more than anything- I already do.
So now I'm just focusing on getting through the last trimester as healthy and prepared as I can. I know that once the baby is born it will be a new and different world and I hope it is as great as I imagine. It's been 4 years since I started this journey with my husband and to see the finish line finally in sight is both scary and exciting (scary only because I worry something will take us right back to the start). I hope everything goes well :)
