Sunday, 8 April 2012
Well my period arrived. No suprises there but I do actually feel like we are getting somewhere after my follow up ultrasound visit. I saw a new G.P. late last week (Dr B) for my ultrasound results and for once I wasn't shooed out the door and told to "just relax". Maybe it was because she was female and could symapthise more with the anxiety I was feeling about the whole process. She confirmed that my ultrasound was normal and said that it was good news that I was ovulating. According to Dr B the spotting wasn't great but it would probably go away after I became pregnant. "Great" I thought "now just tell me how to do that!". She recommended a 21-day blood test to check my progesterone levels so now I'm just playing the waiting game until I hit the 3 week mark. Dr B also suggested that my husband have a semen motility test. I felt relieved that he already had a referral in his bedside table from his doctor- who had been reluctant to give it to him but provided it 'just in case'. I knew hubby was concerned about having to take time off work and travel an hour away to 'produce' a sample in a clinic. We live in relatively small regional and I knew that he was worried that he might bump into someone he knew. A couple of quick- and slightly awkward- phone calls revealed that this actually wasn't the case and that it could be 'produced' at home as long as it arrived at the labratory within 2 hours. He didn't even have to take time off work as I could drive it over there. So...my one day off in months resulted in a very early drive over to the nearest pathology lab with the sample between my legs (to keep it warm on the chilly morning) grinning cheekily at this bizarre fact and thinking of scenarios where a police-officer would pull me over and ask what I had between my legs-"my husband's semen of course!". We received the results a few days ago and they were all OK. My initial reaction was one of relief and excitement but lingering in the back of my mind was that other thought that often snuck in during my moments of doubt..."that means there's something wrong with you...". My acupuncturist was so excited when I told her we had done a semen test and that I had a referral for a 21 day progesterone test. I knew she wanted to know about my progesterone levels because of the spotting so hopefully it sheds (excuse the pun) some light on why I start bleeding so early in my cycle. She suggested taking a break from the Chinese tea for a bit and also and said that it might be a good idea to drop the BBT test each morning as well- just to take my minds off things for a while. I was happy to drop the tea but I'll see how I go with the BBT's. I have a sneaking suspicion that if I don't take them I'll just spend the whole day wondering what it might have been so it may be better just to take it quickly when I wake up and then not worry too much about charting the temp. My friend called me this week to tell me that a lady at her work just fell pregnant after 1 year of TTC after she decided that "it would happen when it happens". It reminded me of all the stories I've read about people finally conceiving when they stop focusing on it. I've said it before in this blog that I believe trying to get pregnant is not just a physical phenomenon but a mental one as well. It seems that the more you want to be pregnant the longer it takes to actually conceive. But how do you "just relax" and truly stop worrying??? I think it's probably similiar to meditation (something I also suck at) in that you can't try to relax, it only happens when you focus on the present and ignore thoughts about the past and future. Hmmmmmmm....easier said than done. So that's the plan at the moment. To recognise when I am thinking about the 'what if's' and appreciate the moment. Starting right now.