Sunday, 22 June 2014

A new path: egg donation

Well where do I start...

The past few weeks have been full of so many emotions and new experiences. I am still trying to process the grief of knowing that we will no longer try to conceive with my own eggs while starting a whole new journey towards egg donation. This is not something that we've only just decided on but that we knew we would pursue if this most recent cycle failed. I've done a lot of research over the last few months and did a lot of groundwork in preparation for the egg donor option if we needed to go down this path.

We wanted our last IVF cycle to work so much. There was so much riding on it but knew deep down it was a long shot. Surprisingly I am getting through the days OK. I am grieving but I am also focused on our underlying goal all along- to have a family. We feel that after looking at all our options that egg donation will give us about best chance of having the family we have been working so hard for. I say this simply but of course there are many, many emotions that have had to be processed when coming to this decision; and which will continue to be processed into the future.

The amazing news is that we have an egg donor. Yes I can't believe how lucky we are. I connected with this amazing woman through my research into egg donation and she has offered to be our egg donor during the past week. I couldn't be more amazed by the unbelievingly generous offer to altruistically donate her eggs so that we can have a chance if becoming a family.

I have so many thoughts in my head and want to write it all down but for now I just wanted to let everyone know about the news that has us feeling both apprehensive and excited. All we want is a family and we have decided that as hard as it is for me to give up the biological link that at the end of the day the most important thing is love and connection. We want children. We want to be parents. We want a family. We know that for sure. I hope this is the path that will take us there...


  1. So many emotions in this post from your end AND my own emotional responses as I read it. Whew, what a crazy ride this all is!!! My first response is: HOLY CRAP YOU HAVE A DONOR?!??!??!! That is so, so, sooo wonderful and exciting!!! I have so many questions (is she known or anon, when will you cycle, etc) :) My initial response while reading this was sadness and reliving my own grief. I am so sorry that you are still working through all this. We didn't do any research prior to our last IVF because I was so hopeful and convinced that it would've worked for us. So I went through all of the stages of grief (not in order and in a loop that seems to longer on anger and depression these days). At first, the denial was so thick. Then anger, depression, anger, anger, anger. Two plus months later, and I have to say that the pain has significantly decreased. I was at first repulsed by the idea of egg donation, then I tolerated it. Now I see it for the wonderful gift and opportunity that it is! I can't wait to do our cycle :) Sorry for rambling, but I feel like we have a lot in common and just wanted to share!

    1. *loop that seems to LINGER on anger... Not longer!

  2. Hi Run :) Thankslso much for your comments. I know we've been on a similar journey and if you ever have any questions I might be able to work out a way to message as I want to keep some details private on my blog. I'm sure my announcement will come as a bit of a surprise as I have not been blogging about this part of my life. I have so many emotions but once I realised that it didn't matter how much I wanted biological children it probably wasn't going to happen I was able to then decide what the alternative option I was most comfortable with was. I looked into epigenetics (will blog more about this) and that helped. Having said that, this is all pretty tough and I'm not going to pretend I have big moments of grief and envy for how simple it all is for so many other people. I'm working through each feeling as it comes and just trying to look forward. I keep telling myself not to curl up in a ball and instead to feel the pain and do it anyway. I hope I an help in anyway I can I your matter what path you take xoxox

  3. Hi there! I have a quick question about your blog that I was hoping you could answer! My name is Heather and if you could email me at Lifesabanquet1(at)gmail(dot)com I would greatly appreciate it!

  4. No problem Heather. I've just sent you an email :)