Friday, 16 May 2014

Let Her Go...

There are many songs that have resonated with me along this journey and I've been thinking about doing a post about a particular song for a while. It wasn't until I was reading through the blog of another woman on a similar journey (RunCC you're amazing) who wrote of a song that summed up how she was feeling that I thought I'd do the same. The song that stops me in my tracks and makes me cry every single time is "Let Her Go" by Passenger. I know it is a love song rather than a song about infertility but there are some lines that are just so true they take my breath away.

As a background to why this song means so much my friendship group has seen an explosion of babies in the last 6-12 months. Amazingly these have nearly all been little girls. When I here "Let Her Go" it makes me think of all my friends with their beautiful healthy daughters and makes me ache for the little girl (or boy) I have longed for but may never have. I imagine my little embryos as daughters that I love so deeply being lost and the ache being all the harder afterwards for the knowing that they were there. They were real. Even if only for a short while. I will put some lines of the song below but listening to it is much more powerful...

                                                     Staring at the bottom of your glass

Hoping one day you'll make a dream last
But dreams come slow and they go so fast

You see her when you close your eyes
Maybe one day you'll understand why
Everything you touch surely dies

But you only need the light when it's burning low
Only miss the sun when it starts to snow
Only know you love her when you let her go

Only know you've been high when you're feeling low
Only hate the road when you're missin' home
Only know you love her when you let her go

Staring at the ceiling in the dark
Same old empty feeling in your heart
'Cause love comes slow and it goes so fast

Well you see her when you fall asleep
But never to touch and never to keep
'Cause you loved her too much
And you dived too deep

1 comment:

  1. Beautiful <3 And yes, your embryos were very real. I feel the same way... our embryos never made it far, but I loved them with all I had. Watching them go has been a very difficult loss for me. I'm so sorry you know this pain and more.