I've been in a pretty low place recently. I thought it would get easier but I have to say it's been really tough. Having a birthday this week didn't help as it was a reminder of how long we've been doing this for. I thought I would be trying for my second baby by now but what can you do? I've made a Pinterest board full of infertility inspirations and reflections that help me stay positive (if anyone is interested it is under TTC A Family). My intralipid infusion was on my birthday. Due to the fact that it was the first infusion ever done at my clinic they were writing protocols and organising the procedure right up until the day but luckily everything all went smoothly. They had a lot of difficulty getting my canular in but once that happened and some saline was flushed through I was given 300ml of the milky white liquid- which took just over 3 hours. I felt quite sleepy during the infusion but otherwise felt fine. Despite the fact I have been trying to be healthy I had McDonald's fries and a lemonade on the way home from the infusion. I suppose I figured if I was having that much fat (from the intralipids) I may as well go the whole hog and top it off with some greasy food!). I was reading up on natural killer cells over the subsequent days and started to panic when I read about DQ alpha matches and how they can influence natural killer cells and prevent the embryo from implanting. The recommended plan for partial DQ alpha matches is a single embryo transfer. While we haven't had this test I was concerned that if this was a problem for us we shouldn't proceed with a double embryo transfer. I rang the doctor that diagnosed my natural killer cells and while he said the area was controversial he suggested doing a single embryo transfer and then doing the DQ alpha testing if this cycle was also unsuccessful. It was a surprisingly difficult pill to swallow. Even though the decision to do a double embryo transfer was a difficult one I had started to look forward to the thought of having more than one embryo to 'take care of'. Despite this adjustment to our plan I was thrilled when the nurse said that my endometrial lining was 10mm during my ultrasound and that our FET was scheduled for the following Monday (18th November). As we get closer I'm starting to relax and look forward to the transfer. I know that the time after transfer will be tough- and tougher still if we get another BFN- but we just have to keep crossing those bridges as we come to them.